Be the Change You Want to See
The quote “be the change you want to see” is easier said than done. I used to be someone who didn’t think I could be the change I want to see. During my late teens and my 20s, I just wanted to avoid the mistakes of those who raised me and not do what they did. I used to blame family for the things I couldn’t do well and had a hard time choosing to take responsibility for what was on my part to do.
After several years of receving counseling, mentoring and coaching, I came to realize that I was in the journey of recovering from a lot of pain and needed a ton of healing because I was wounded by the mistakes I’ve seen growing up. Those mistakes and the expectations that were left unfulfilled by those who raised me caused a deep pain. After I went through a deep process of uncovering layer after layer of healing, I realized that I didn’t need to grow up in what seemed like the perfect family in my eyes in order to talk about topics such as parenting, family restoration and co-parenting. I also didn’t need to learn about how to become a powerful adult person from my parents only. I can learn the positive aspects I see in them and then learn from others.
Also, I have been blessed that I learned a good amount of wisdom about parenting and about the process of adulting (this word cover a lot and sometimes carries expectations but the main point is the process of acquiring skills to become a powerful adult) in the families I have met through hanging out with my friends’ families, volunteering in children’s ministry and the education and training that becoming a professional in mental health made me to be.
I didn’t have to see a proof in my life of being a parent in order to facilitate a parenting class at a recent job placement I had. I was struggling with self-doubts when I first started to facilitate that parenting class but then I realized that I can be the change I want to see by teaching an excellent class with the information I received and by communicating about the different ways we can choose to deal with the most common challenges in parenting.
Some people have asked me, how I do things with excellence so well? Well, the first key is to not think about how I look like or how others perceive my teaching or appearance (so I had to let go…